They got you by the balls. Nobody seems to care. ", 100. #AmericaWakeUp pic.twitter.com/vy2zz0j8DB, Mrs. Krassenstein (@HKrassenstein) July 26, 2020. How do school teachers handle this? ", George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. 02. An Adobe Analytics cookie that uses a unique visitor ID time/date stamp to identify a unique vistor to the website. "Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. "That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. the fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big, red, white, and blue dick thats being jammed up their assholes every day., This video is completely devastating for Trump. They are irrelevant. George Carlin. They should be more vivid. She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. the politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. RLCDN sets this cookie to provide users with relevant advertisements and limit the number of ads displayed. But once the child is born? 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Yeah, the public sucks. G eorge Carlin was ahead of his time. Installed by Google Analytics, _gid cookie stores information on how visitors use a website, while also creating an analytics report of the website's performance. they don't wanna know about you. No neonatal care, no daycare, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. Don't miss a beat. - George Carlin. George Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic and author. "There's a humorous side to every situation. American - Comedian May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008. They believe a womans primary role is to function as a broodmare for the state.. Here is one I would suggest: 'Alcohol will turn you into the same a**hole your father was. On June 24, 2022, the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade and ended a women's constitutional right to an abortion in the country. Religion is like a pair of shoes, you have to find the one that fits you. ", 59. Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. "Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? ", 6. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. You have owners. ""This country was founded by a group of slave owners who wanted to be. "I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. These George Carlin quotes on life showcase his wit, ingenuity and geniusand, occasionally, his potty mouth, which was part of his signature charm. The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white, and blue dick thats being jammed up their assholes every day, because the owners of this country know the truth: Its call the Amercian Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it., RIP George Carlin. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. ", 48. Used to help protect the website against Cross-Site Request Forgery attacks. Theyre not interested in that. ", 91. Thats the problem. And if somehow, you must join, if its unavoidable, such as a union or a trade association, go ahead and join. Theyve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. Maybe something else sucks around here like, the public. ", 89. "It helps to remember this.. Am I right? ", 114. George Carlin Philosophy, Real, Lying 192 Copy quote I've set my own rules to live by. ""Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren't they? Enter your email address below then click "FOLLOW" to receive email notifications of new posts. It sounds like this: What, they have bigger dicks? And they all vote. ", 36. "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. ", 7. The session information includes the identity of the user, recently visited links and the duration of inactivity. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. I say: 'No no no,' because that really would be the kiss of death," Carlin said in his final interview before his death in 2008. They want your fuckin retirement money. "Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. After that, they dont want to know about you. "A good motto to live by: 'Always try not to get killed. By the way, its the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. "I think people shouldbe allowed to do what they want. "Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. These George Carlin funny quotes on religion, government, and stupid people will make you laugh as well as think about things deeply. ", 55. . ", 53. ", 117. However, Ice Cube has endorsed neither Trump nor his Democratic rival, former Vice President Joe Biden. Maybe something else sucks around here like, the public. The great American comedian George Carlin died on June 22, 2008 at the age of 71. After harping on his skepticism of politicians, particularly Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, 51-year-old Ice Cube doubled down on his distrust of the government on Tuesday by sharing a famous quote by the late, great comedian George Carlin on Twitter. "I was a loner as a child. And nobody seems to notice. ""Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that. ", 56. We're so self-important. Why? "I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the s**t out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker. And apparently, Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. George Carlin, Im completely in favor of the separation of Church and State These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, If there is a God, I think most reasonable people might agree that hes at least incompetent, and maybe, just maybe, doesnt give a shit. 41. They own you. These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. "I put a dollar in a change machine. It also helps in fraud preventions. ", Join half a million readers enjoying Newsweek's free newsletters. "Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. "In America, anyone can become president. You have owners. This anonymous data helps us to better understand users' needs and customize the website accordingly. You caused the problem. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.' George Carlin Believe, Government, Rules To Live By 48 Copy quote Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. Good honest hard-working people continue these are the people of modest means Continue to elect these rich cocksuckers who dont give a fuck about you. George Carlin quotes and jokes about politics and religion "Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. George Carlin gives him the finger from the grave. They come from American parents and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses and American universities, and they are elected by American citizens. ""I don't think we should be governing ourselves. Google DoubleClick IDE cookies are used to store information about how the user uses the website to present them with relevant ads and according to the user profile. The uuid2 cookie is set by AppNexus and records information that helps in differentiating between devices and browsers. "Most people with low self-esteem have earned it. "War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class men off to die. When it comes to mass shootings, the problem isnt Republicans or the NRA. They dont give a fuck about you. They should be more vivid. That is against their interests. Germany lost the Second World War. This is the best we can do, folks. You have owners. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? Carlin considered conservatives and Republicans the greedy, warmongering class in political ideologies. The people left of center were liberals; the people right of center were conservatives. The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white, and blue dick that's being jammed up their assholes every day, because the owners of this country know the truth: It's call the Amercian Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.". "Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight? 'He's two' will do just fine. George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. "Everybody's been mad at me, cause I haven't been on the f**king, y'know, the gravy train of these candidates, especially Joe Biden and Harris. School officials told the couple that they present an inherent harm to kids.. This cookie is set by DoubleClick and is used for re-targeting, optimisation, reporting and attribution of online adverts. Dumb ass motherfuckers., The real owners, the big, wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. George Carlin : Designed to scare and control primitive people. - Arthur Baer. This cookie is installed by Google Universal Analytics to restrain request rate and thus limit the collection of data on high traffic sites. "We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. Some critics felt that Ice Cube's willingness to work with Republicans signaled his support for Trump. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelette? George Carlin, Laugh often, long and loud. A cat's "meow" can be a "woof" for him. They're all in favor of the unborn. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' 28. r/antiwork. The people are f**ked. This cookie is used for advertising, site analytics, and other operations. Its called fucking with people! ", 2. The cookie, set by Krux Digital, registers a unique ID that identifies a returning user's device. "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. They don't fall out of the sky. Set aside 30 minutes to watch investigative journalist Whitney Webb speak with MintPress News in the video above. Because you have the illusion of choice. As politicians and social media commentators weighed in on . Thats what all that adolescent, macho, male posturing and strutting in bars and locker rooms is all about. This cookie supports the website's live support provider. They own everything. he was a conservative. He talked about things that could be considered controversial, like politics and politicians, religion, drugs, and the demise of humanity. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. The sp_t cookie is set by Spotify to implement audio content from Spotify on the website and also registers information on user interaction related to the audio content. 'They dont want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. ", 5. It helps in improving the performance. The test_cookie is set by doubleclick.net and is used to determine if the user's browser supports cookies. It's kind of bread-and-butter liberal (which during the counterculture 60s was pretty radical, but maybe not very en vogue with a younger crowd nowadays who are a bit more lefty). No other time but to see how human nature really shines, am I right? You get kicked out when youre too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin, Men are from Earth; women are from Earth. Theyre not interested in that. "A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin, Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. George Carlin, The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. Amazon Pay uses this cookie to maintain a "session" that spans multiple days and beyond reboots. The __gads cookie, set by Google, is stored under DoubleClick domain and tracks the number of times users see an advert, measures the success of the campaign and calculates its revenue. Like the public. ", 111. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. The cookies contains information that allows Prebid servers to distinguish between browsers and mobile devices. Answer (1 of 16): He hated mostly all politicians. They dont pass through a membrane from another reality. ""Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. ", 19. The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. I don't have to tell you my favorite comedian just like I don't have to say my favorite meal to tell the chef his food sucks. Bing sets this cookie to recognize unique web browsers visiting Microsoft sites. "Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean that the circus has left town. Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. George Carlin was a comedian and social critic. ", 14. Answer (1 of 12): He was a liberal. They dont give a fuck about you. The embattled gay representative has denied his drag persona, but these three performers have embraced her with comedic flair! Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. They dont want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. This cookie is set by Segment to help track visitor usage, events, target marketing, and also measure application performance and stability. They own everything.. ""If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. If you're born in America you get a front row seat. September 12, 2019. ", 46. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. ", 102. He was a regular on the "Ed Sullivan Show," but in the 1970s he became much better known for his irreverent . Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. ", 77. There is actually a semi-important figure in American history who is named for a blow-job movie. The cookie is a session cookies and is deleted when all the browser windows are closed. 234. Others see it half empty. They will do anything for the unborn. "By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. Associated with Amazon Web Services and created by Elastic Load Balancing, AWSELB cookie is used to manage sticky sessions across production servers. AA: George Carlin can say some outrageous things -- years ago the US Supreme Court found his "seven filthy words" monolgue "indecent." RS: But when he stopped at the National Press Club in. "If you cant say something nice about a person, go ahead. . Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. Hes all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just cant handle money! George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dreambecause you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. George Carlin, He and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly. George Carlin, I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. It will not be with jack-boots. It doesn't matter what side you're on. "Forget the politicians. Whats that, a bonus? ", 95. I think I need to show them that I have brought myself to a cleverer, smarter spot than they have.". LinkedIn sets this cookie to remember a user's language setting. This narrative is based on a deliberate fiction. Maybe this time itll work. Everybody complains about politicians. The Great George Carlin. Just like homeless people. War is a whole lot of men standing out on a field waving their pricks at one another. Contents 1 Quotes 1.1 FM & AM (1972) He missed this one. of American cultural paradoxes.. To avoid conflicts, each partner's ID is stored using separate cookies, which are merged to the ljtrtb cookie when it is available. That doesnt help them. The dmvk cookie is set by Dailymotion to record data of visitor behaviour on the website. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". They spend billions of dollars every year lobbyinglobbying to get what they want. I, on the other hand, who did not vote -- who did not even leave the house on Election Day -- am in no way responsible for what these politicians have done and have every right to complain about the mess that you created.". The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he embodied America's intellectual counter culture and provided sanctuary from the crisis of modernity. "There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Take George Carlin, for example. Deal with it. George Carlin, Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. George Carlin, Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice? George Carlin, Were so self-important. This cookie, set by PubMatic, is used to build a profile of user interests and to show relevant ads. Keep your circle small. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. ", 15. "Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. ", 120. 1 Every year in January, WEF holds its annual meeting in Davos, Switzerland. ", 27. "Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. ", 92. ", 23. George Denis Patrick Carlin was born on May 12, 1937, was an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic, and author. George Carlin. Now, some people like to twist that around. -26 1amathrowaway 1 yr. ago StackAdapt sets this cookie as a Random Identifier for user identification, to display relevant advertisements. Jesse Kelly wanted to whip his followers into homophobic outrage, but it sure AF didnt work. This cookie is set by the provider The Guardian. And Bushis pushing this country farther down the hill, faster than anyone has before. This cookie, set by DataXu, tracks the advertisement report which helps to improve the marketing activity. CMPRO cookie is set by CasaleMedia for anonymous user tracking, and for targeted advertising. I like people who buck the system. You voted them in. "Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. He was as prolific as he was profound, with a career spanning nearly five decades, 23 albums, 14 HBO specials, 130 Tonight Show appearances and three books (plus posthumous releases). At all. Ice Cube also recently voiced concerns that neither political party would actually be able to make a positive change for the betterment of Black Americansand that's reportedly the rapper's whole reasoning for working with the White House on the Platinum Plan, which aims to develop Black businesses and communities. George Carlin. ", 10. "Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. So we are going to have to do lots of things different as a Black community," Ice Cube said in a video shared on Twitter on October 11. Bomb them! And of course, the bombs and the rockets and the bullets are all shaped like dicks. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money. CMPS cookie is set by CasaleMedia for anonymous user tracking based on user's website visits, for displaying targeted ads. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. It creates a hostile work environment. Going after racists, sexists, fascists, and aiming to bring those who try to restrict freedom to justice. Weve also included some of his sketches from YouTube, viral videos of jokes you might have heard once or twice before. ", 25. Change), You are commenting using your Twitter account. Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them. The __qca cookie is associated with Quantcast.